Time Heals

It's been a month since Liz passed away. I have to confess that I've been trying hard not to think too much about it, but everyday things remind me of Liz, and of how much I miss her. For instance, every time I hear the song "Quack Quack" by The Wiggles, I can see Liz singing and dancing to the tune. When I watch a chick flick, I'm reminded that she always knew the best chick flicks and had a huge collection. The PJs I'm wearing right now were once hers. Her favorite color is the same as mine, pink. The cold weather reminds me of the times I would drive to Logan and spend the weekend with her and Dave. Liz even gave me a tour of USU when I was trying to decide what to do with my life. She is the one who pointed out that Me, Dave and Darren all had the same funny eating habit. My friend Missy wrote a title of one of her blog posts that popped another memory from the 2007 family Christmas party where she and Dave sang the song, "Baby it's Cold Outside" written by Frank Loesser in 1944. There were no dry eyes in the room after they sang. Every time I bundle Ian in his blanket I'm reminded that it's the last thing she ever made.

Days after Ian was born she asked to hold him, and since we were in a hurry and he was already bundled and asleep in his car seat, I didn't want to get him out for her to hold. This memory will haunt me, as I knew at the time that she was very ill, but I believed that there would be plenty of other opportunities for her to hold him. I was so wrong. When she started to decline, it all happened so rapidly that we were all in shock. By then, it was too late.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I miss Liz. I'm sorry that I didn't get to tell her how much I loved her and how she blessed my life. I'm sorry for all the missed opportunities I had to call and chat with her. I'm sorry I moved too far away to visit her often and help out with her kids. I wish I could have held and hugged her in her last days. Oh, how I miss sweet Liz.